I am not one to regret. And I don’t. Not one of the years, months or weeks I spend in this relationship. Not even the hardest and most hurtful once. They made me become the person that I am today. They formed my character, they taught my heart. To share this part of the road with a person I have the utmost respect for leaves me grateful and sad.
I choose to remember the good things. The times he made me feel like I was worth his life, not those when I felt less than a dime in his pocket. The thoughts, the dreams, the love we shared instead of the fights, the words, the opinions which separated us. The person I want to remember is the one who made my life richer, who empowered me to become who I am today, who loved me unconditionally.
And though it hurts like hell to part two lives which were woven together for years, to accept that those two people who met more than seven years ago and felt like children exploring a new world only they knew the secret door to, have changed along the road, there is some relieve hidden under all the pain. Now there is no more hurting each other for not fulfilling the expectations the other one had. There is time to let things go. The possibility of a new life with someone who might accept the fairytale turning to reality and the changes it brings. To appreciate and love how every day life feels, to be a partner in good and in bad. Someone who doesn’t change as a person by making things work that are different from what you dreamed of. Whose dreams become yours and yours become his.
At some point I am sure that I can let go of this deep sadness that accompanied me for far too long. To smile again from the depth of my heart. To look back and all that is left to remember will be happiness.