It’s Food For Though Tuesday, since I felt like sharing some of this crazy ramble in my head and truth be told, writing it out always helps me to see things clearer, too. The topic is “being reckless” and how afraid we are to hurt people with our decisions, even if they are necessary to be made. Let me give you a few examples from my life.
Number one, a current topic on my mind: quitting my “job” (aka master thesis, which I’ve been writing on behalf of a company). It took me quite some time to make this step, not only because of the work I already put in and the financial safety, but also due to the people involved in this project. My professor, who put me in contact with the company and the two amazing associates, who had the idea for this project and helped me with everything I needed. So would not quitting and finishing my master thesis as planned be the right thing to do? No. First, I would never produce as good results as someone who is passionate about this project and puts all his/her heart into it. And second, I wouldn’t do myself a favor regarding my future job choices in the field I’d like to work. Sometimes you need to be reckless and take a chance.
Number two, a mother taking care of her family and putting them first all the time. My mom is a lot like this and I love her with every inch of my heart. But truth be told, sometimes you just have to put your own needs first, or your own misery will affect those close to you. A few years ago my mom took a big chance in choosing to go back to university, redoing her Russian graduation in teaching and becoming a primary school teacher, again. Was it more work for the rest of the family to take care of themselves and some of the housework? Sure it was? Was it a mistake that she chose to pursue her dreams instead of being a twenty-four-seven mother and wife? No. Though my younger brother once confessed that he missed her being around all the time (and that’s coming from an 18 year old), she needed this for her personal happiness. This job is her call and she enjoys working with those kids every day. I love my mom even more for being this strong person and making it through university again, with the age of 40.
Number three, is a hard one. A friend of mine just started a new relationship and she is walking on clouds. I am overly happy for her. She deserves this so much and went through a lot of bad and destructive relationships before. Nevertheless, I pointed out something I consider a mistake at the beginning of a relationship, since I did the same thing a few years ago when I started dating Jay: Spending all of your time with this person at cost of friends, family and study/work. When we fall in love and it happens that the other one reciprocates our feelings, suddenly nothing else seems to matter than being together with this person. But we do also have other people close to our hearts we’d like to spend time with and we have duties, that will not wait. What to do, if the decision to spend some time on these things disappoints our new partner? Shall we give in and forget everything else that our life consists of? No. The rose-colored glasses will clear up again and when the relationship evolves it’s important to not be sorry for the things you lost in the beginning: a group of friends, the close relationship with a family member, a great job opportunity. Of course friends and family will be supportive if they see how happy you are. But if this phase lasts for months and months, even the most understanding of them will feel a bit left behind. I for myself lost a lot of friends in the beginning of my relationship with Jay. And if I could relive it, I would consider spending some more weekends with my friends instead of always joining him and his circle of friends.
Here you have them: three situations in which being reckless is kind of a necessity according to my opinion.
What are your thoughts and experiences on making decisions that might not be the best for all parties concerned?